shanesemler

Originally published at shanesemler.com. You can comment here or there.

I don’t often post in here about my geeky side but I’m a dual booter. I’ve been using Ubuntu since the first version (Warty Warthog - I love the names) and next to SuSE 10.2, Feisty is the smoothest Linux install I’ve ever experienced. I find myself using it as much as possible and avoiding Windows, just so I can drink in all that Beryl goodness. Unfortunately, audio apps for Linux pretty much suck and I don’t know how to get my old Echo Darla 20 working so I need Windows yet for making music.

Speaking of music, I’m still on hiatus. Chances are good I won’t be making any new music or playing shows in Second Life until July, at the very least.

Originally published at shanesemler.com. You can comment here or there.

There’s a big difference between Hollywood sci-fi and sci-fi in literature. The best science fiction literature is about big ideas, expanding one’s mind beyond the mundane. Hollywood thinks it’s about splashy effects, technobabble and worse of all, social commentary. I predict a ratings slide for the new season of Battlestar Galactica. I hate when hollywood thinks that for sci-fi to be relevant, it must club you over the head with it’s parallels to real world events. Such is the unfortunate case of the new season of Battlestar. Sci-fi is an escape, I dont want Iraq in space, thank you very much. Hear that splash? It’s Fonzie, he just landed after jumping the shark.

Originally published at shanesemler.com. You can comment here or there.

My brother Todd loaned me an album The Fury Of Our Maker’s Hand by a band I never heard of called Devildriver. I was half expecting to hear some shitty Nu-Metal stuff, especially since they were on Roadrunner but was quickly and very pleasantly surprised - this album kicks ass! Apparently, this was a side project of the singer of Coal Chamber (which, as Nu-Metal bands go, wasn’t too bad) and when Coal Chamber broke up, he made Devildriver his main project. The Fury Of Our Maker’s Hand is Devildriver’s second album and it is some fierce shit. The lyrics are occassionaly dumb but that’s bound to happen and anyway, who cares, you can’t understand them most of the time anyway. No one listens to stuff this heavy for the lyrics, this is for head bangin.

Also available on shanesemler.com.

Also available on shanesemler.com.

Also available on shanesemler.com.

Also available on shanesemler.com.

Originally published at shanesemler.com. You can comment here or there.

I uploaded another new song “Insect Boy.” You can download it here.

Also available on shanesemler.com.

Originally published at shanesemler.com. You can comment here or there.

I feel emotionally and physically horrible. No one cares about an asshole like me. I’m so alone and I deserve to be. It’s been like this my whole life. Kids hated me when I was a child. Adults hate me now that I’m grown. I can’t work, I can’t socialize, I can’t make a living. Everyone hates me. What’s the point of living? What the fuck is wrong with me? Why can’t anyone help? Please.

Also available on shanesemler.com.

Originally published at shanesemler.com. You can comment here or there.

…because quotes make us feel like we’re smarter than we actually are.

“Any sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice.” - Vernon Schryver

“The Jews, the Muslims and the Christians, They’ve all got it wrong. The people of the world only divide into two kinds, One sort with brains who hold no religion, The other with religion and no brain.” - Abu-al-Ala al-Marri, 10th century Syrian poet

Ok, so if you’ve been paying attention (all one or two of you), you’ve seen them both in my signature on deviantArt. But I REALLY like them and I can’t think of any others right now. And I wanted to write something in my journal, just for the hell of it.

Also available on shanesemler.com.

Originally published at shanesemler.com. You can comment here or there.

I got Live Press working so now all my posts here will automatically appear on LiveJournal. Too bad the comments don’t sync. I’m afraid I’m going to end up maintaining an extra blog.

I don’t like the word “blog.” It sounds like some nasty bodily function, something yucky. Bleh. I much prefer the word “journal.”

This journal entry is also available on my web site.

Originally published at shanesemler.com. You can comment here or there.

I took down “Planet Dirt” because I realized it was sub par. I can do better. The details are lacking and the composition is weak. I may yank down more stuff and I might put up some old stuff I think is still pretty decent. It all depends on my mood. Speaking of which, I did add a new “3D Digital” section to my web site gallery. Check it out.

- - -

I decided to add some “bonus” facts about myself. Most of the original list was such a downer I decided to list a few of my modest accomplishments, just for balance:

21. I contributed a set of textures, a 3d model and two music tracks to the game Death Illustrated. It’s a free 3d online deathmatch game, download it and check it out.

22. I’ve contributed graphics to a KDE window decoration called “Grover.” I also created my own window decoration for Gnome called “Blufaktr” and several GTK themes including a couple GTK 2 updates of old GTK+ themes but I never got around to releasing any of them. Additionally, I did a whole mess of Linux related wallpapers , a few were available here on deviantArt for a short time. One of them is supposed to show up in the official Gnome wallpaper set at some point or so I’ve been told.

Yep, I’m an open source contributer. It’s nothing spectacular or even particularly noteworthy but I feel good about it anyway.

23. With that having been said, I must confess I don’t use Linux much anymore.

24. My website is hand coded in CSS. I hate CSS.

25. My first experience with digital painting was a hand coded BASIC drawing application I did in high school back in the 80’s (the code wasn’t mine but we had to type it into the computer as a class assignment for some reason I can’t recall). I might even have a printout of the image I made with it around my house somewhere. My second experience was with a paint app I can’t remember the name of on an Apple II Color or something like that. There was a primitive thermal printer and color inkjet hooked up to it. The thermal printer color was bold but the resolution sucked and it couldn’t dither the color worth a damn. I ended up printing out on the inkjet but the color was so weak I had to line the image up and print over it twice to get brighter colors - that was tricky. My third digital art experience was in college with a proprietary DOS system called Lumina Paint. It was quite sophisticated and had a tablet and dual monitors. It was pretty cool actually. The printing situation wasn’t a whole lot better than the printers in HS. We had a thermal printer that cost over $10k and it SUCKED ASS. I hated that thing. It was slow, the output didn’t look anything close to the monitor and the resolution was horrible. Thermal printers have finally died, thankfully. The technology has improved a lot since those days.

26. I’m a master at Photoshop. You probably wouldn’t know it but my level of proficiency and skill in Photoshop is very high. I can do it all, from retouching to creating from scratch. I worked with Photoshop professionally for years. I used the Gimp for the last couple years and I have to say, going back to Photoshop was very comfortable. I can still do a lot of stuff much faster in PS than the Gimp.

27. I’ve created quite a few LiteSTEP themes. I don’t use LS anymore. I tried the most recent version last week and it crashed almost immediately. I’m not sure there’s going to be much of a need or desire for alternative shells when Windows Vista arrives. But who knows? Maybe the desktop will suck so bad people will be clamoring for alternatives.

28. I miss Mac OS 8-9.

Originally published at shanesemler.com. You can comment here or there.

I originally posted this on deviantArt a couple days ago.

1. I can’t sleep unless I’m totally exhausted and can barely hold my head up.
2. I have nightmares about me running from unseen alien entities infecting people and taking over the world.
3. I’m wearing less black these days
4. I don’t do well in social situations. Really. I’m not just saying that because it’s the thing to say. I’m really bad with groups of people, much worse than the average person.
5. I remixed a song for Marylin Manson’s old record label with an Industrial Metal band I was in called Chaotica. The song was the “Eleanor Rigby” cover by the band gODHEAD. Yes, I’m kind of bragging, it’s my only claim to fame so give me a break.
6. I’ve been in therapy, off and on, for several years.
7. I’ve lost a lot of friends over the years.
8. I often think I’m a terrible person because of that.
9. I suspect most people I’ve met in person don’t like me.
10. I’m very lonely.
11. I love a sort of lichen green color, it’s hard to describe. It’s not like the deviantArt green, in case you’re wondering.
12. I don’t wear much green though - because of my red hair, I think wearing green makes me look like a tall, weird leprechaun.
13. I’m not very good at reading other people’s emotions.
14. I drink at least 3 cups of tea a day and prefer honey over sugar as a sweetener.
15. I don’t like slimy foods or slimy anything for that matter.
16. I’m obsessive compulsive and mildly agoraphobic.
17. I had a chemistry set when I was very young but I never did much with it and I certainly didn’t learn anything about chemistry.
18. I used to like murder mysteries but now they just make me sad.
19. I’ve been listening to soundtrack music a lot lately.
20. In college I majored in “fine art with a concentration in computer art.”

Originally published at shanesemler.com. You can comment here or there.

I originally posted this on my deviantArt journal back in July under the title ‘Thoughts on the big “shake-up”.’ The paragraph at the end refers to a “protest day” that everyone was supposed to submit something yellow to deviantArt in support of disposed co-founder Scott Jarkoff:

I don’t know that much about it and I don’t care. These people certainly don’t care about the users, jark included. Oh he might have at one time but I think weaponzero cured him of that years ago.

“It is my opinion that the management of this company, for the most part, lacks the most common qualities of integrity and honor.” a quote from euphoria - hmm. They always backed up spyed’s bullshit and now they got burned and suddenly they reveal their “true” feelings. I don’t feel sorry for any of them. I have no reason to support jark and his cronies at all. They are as spiteful, arbitrary and egotistical as spyed and his bunch (if the guy has any friends left). The admins on dA are abusive, their policies vague and their egos big.

Changes on dA have always sucked for the users. The staff always tried to spin it in a way that made it sound like things were even better. This is yet another change and it will probably suck even more before the end. Anyone protesting this is just a pawn of these egomaniacs. Do you know what the protest on the 7th will accomplish? Exactly what all the other protests accomplished all the other times a group of people had an issue with changes on deviantArt – nothing.

Irony sucks, doesn’t it?

I’m posting this here again because I was curious about what had happened to the whole thing in the time that has passed so I checked out Scott’s personal blog. Him and his pals seem to believe they never took part in any of the rampant abuse that goes on at deviantArt – astounding. They also fail to see their own hypocritical comments and behavior. I’d feel a bit more sympathetic if they came out and admitted to being part of the problem. It amazes me how so many people, who otherwise seem very intelligent, can have so little ability for introspection.

Originally published at shanesemler.com. You can comment here or there.

If it’s not ridiculously obvious by now, I worry a lot. I worry about the future of this country and the world and the human race. I obsess over it. My dad watches the news all day long. It makes me so nervous and upset – I can’t adequately describe how fucked up and confused it makes me feel inside. My brother told me I can’t hide my head in the sand. For the sake of my sanity, I have to. I can’t help the world when I can’t even help myself.

Originally published at shanesemler.com. You can comment here or there.

I wrote a journal entry titled “I am a libertarian” but thought about it some more and realized they simply are not pragmatic or even logical. I have come to the conclusion that all political, economic and religious parties/philosophies suck ass. They all have it wrong. None of them are making life better on this planet and so none of them are going to get my support, it ain’t worth the headache and stress of dealing with their nonsense. I’m far too cynical and beat up to trust any bastard who claims to have any answers to life’s miseries and problems. And I am an individualist if nothing else – I don’t like these groupthink zombies vying for my attention just so they can suck more money and power for themselves and/or their masters.